Djnise's facts

Month

May 2013

3 posts

  • Socialism: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.
  • Communism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
  • Fascism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
  • Nazism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.
  • Bureaucratism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..
  • Traditional Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
  • An American Corporation: You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.
  • A French Corporation: You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
  • Japanese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.
  • An Italian Corporation: You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
  • A Swiss Corporation: You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
  • Chinese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
  • An Iraqi Corporation: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your arse. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.......
  • Counter Culture: 'Wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!'
  • Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
  • Apathyologism: You have 2 cows. You do not care.
  • Fatalist: You have 2 doomed cows...
  • Atheism: You have 2 cows. There is no God.
  • A West-Country Corporation: You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
  • A Brazilian Corporation: You have 2 cows. You pay taxes for 6 cows. You have to sell one cow in order to pay the taxes. Your remaining cow gets sick and dies while waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.
  • Russia: You have two cows. Since they are both female, if you happen to keep them in the same stable you will pay a 5,000 rouble fine for homosexual propaganda.
  • PETA: You have two cows. You kill them both. You then use naked women to convince other people that killing cows is wrong.
  • Moffat: You have two cows. Both of them are your daughters time traveling from the past where they had a brief love affair with Da Vinci making you the rightful Queen of England. As you assume the throne, you throw them off a building.
  • Hussie: You have 2 cows. You ask for another one. Instead of getting just 1 cow, you get 2,485,506 cows.
  • Romney: You have 2 cows. You are not the president of the united states.
  • Once-ler: You have 1 cow. Everyone decides to make 5 different versions of that cow.
  • Old Spice: You have 2 cows. The cows are now diamonds. I'm on a horse.
  • An Irish Corporation: You have a million cows because they're everywhere
  • Tumblr: You have 2 cows. You ship them together and make GIF posts screaming about how much you love your cows, but they should stop existing because they are so perfect.
  • Also Tumblr: I give you a hamburger.
  • Cows: The shit you go through.
  • This post: Started off as a post that explained different goverments but then everything changed when the fire nation attacked
May 30, 2013315,165 notes
LOS LÍMITES DEL HUMOR (POR QUE EL HUMOR NEGRO ES GRACIOSO, Y LA CENSURA NO)

q3productions:

Mi filosofia de vida resumida en una viƱeta en blanco y negro. Grande.

By Peter.

May 27, 20131,247 notes
May 2, 2013

April 2013

2 posts

Apr 22, 20131,733 notes
Apr 21, 2013105 notes

March 2013

1 post

Mar 19, 201360,657 notes

February 2013

1 post

Feb 22, 201310,339 notes

January 2013

10 posts

Jan 25, 20132 notes
Jan 25, 2013
Jan 25, 2013
Jan 25, 2013
Jan 25, 2013
Jan 25, 2013
Jan 24, 2013
Jan 10, 201361,797 notes
Jan 10, 201328,822 notes
Jan 5, 20138,915 notes

December 2012

2 posts

Dec 30, 2012111 notes
Dec 9, 20121,229 notes

November 2012

1 post

Nov 10, 2012546 notes

October 2012

9 posts

Oct 19, 2012161 notes
Oct 7, 2012
Oct 7, 20128,549 notes
Oct 7, 20122,586 notes
Oct 3, 2012652 notes
Oct 3, 20122,492 notes
Oct 3, 2012561 notes
Oct 3, 20121,624 notes
Oct 2, 2012559 notes

September 2012

10 posts

Sep 19, 2012159 notes
Sep 19, 2012378 notes
Sep 17, 20121,799 notes
Sep 17, 20128,039 notes
Sep 11, 2012580 notes
Put this code into google.

2 sqrt(-abs(abs(x)-1)*abs(3-abs(x))/((abs(x)-1)*(3-abs(x))))(1+abs(abs(x)-3)/(abs(x)-3))sqrt(1-(x/7)^2)+(5+0.97(abs(x-.5)+abs(x+.5))-3(abs(x-.75)+abs(x+.75)))(1+abs(1-abs(x))/(1-abs(x))),-3sqrt(1-(x/7)^2)sqrt(abs(abs(x)-4)/(abs(x)-4)),abs(x/2)-0.0913722(x^2)-3+sqrt(1-(abs(abs(x)-2)-1)^2),(2.71052+(1.5-.5abs(x))-1.35526sqrt(4-(abs(x)-1)^2))sqrt(abs(abs(x)-1)/(abs(x)-1))+0.9

Sep 11, 201275,307 notes
Sep 11, 201227,248 notes
Sep 9, 20121,235 notes
Sep 8, 2012345 notes
Sep 8, 201233,963 notes

June 2012

2 posts

Jun 5, 20123,707 notes
Jun 5, 20123,282 notes

April 2012

1 post

Apr 24, 20125,432 notes

March 2012

2 posts

Mar 26, 2012
Mar 26, 2012369 notes

October 2011

3 posts

push a hipster down the stairs now look who's tumbling - Insanity Wolf | Meme Generator → memegenerator.net

Jojojojo

Oct 31, 2011
not invited to party blow up entire city with the lemons - Socially Fed Up Penguin | Meme Generator → memegenerator.net
Oct 26, 2011
Oct 19, 2011

September 2011

4 posts

Sep 29, 2011558 notes
#animals
Sep 29, 2011
Sep 27, 2011
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